Does it sometimes feel like you and your mum are at war? Let’s take a look at a few common scenarios and how you can handle them…
My mum says I spend too much time online, so she’s started turning off the Wi-Fi! I really miss talking to my friends online when I’m not at school and I’m starting to feel really lonely and left-out because I can’t be a part of the conversation.
Talk to your mum and tell her how you feel. While reducing screen time is good for our mental and physical health, it’s equally important to recognise that much of our social life and entertainment is all online so you need to find a healthy balance that suits both you and your mum.
Why not ask Mum if you can have dedicated time online for a couple of hours in the evening? You could agree to only go online between the hours of 7-9, for example. In return, you can make a promise to have your homework done or any household chores before you socialise online.
My mum hates my best friend and doesn’t think he’s ‘good’ enough for me. She’s always saying horrible things about him and it makes me so mad. He’s actually a really good mate and he’s always there for me when I need him the most. It hurts my feelings when she’s mean about him.
Our parents don’t always see the things in the same way we do. In this case, your mum can’t see the positive things you value about your friend and seems to have formed a negative impression of him. She may have genuine concerns about your welfare so it’s important to hear her out, too.
Calmly ask her what it is she doesn’t like about your friend and, in return, tell her why you disagree and offer some examples of all the times he’s been supportive to you. Communication is key – you can probably put a lot of your mum’s worries at rest by talking about the situation and being open and honest.
It could help to suggest that your mum gets to know your friend better to give her a better chance to make an informed opinion. She may feel a lot better about you spending time with your friend once she’s met him for herself and has had the chance to get to know him.
My friends are all going to a gig later this year and I want to go too but my mum won’t let me. She’s super-strict and says she doesn’t think I’m old enough, even though none of my mates’ mums are bothered. Now I’ll be the only one who isn’t going. She’s ruining my life.
Perhaps you could come to some kind of compromise? For example, if she’s worried about you travelling back late at night on public transport, you could agree to take a taxi or a lift from a family member. Whatever her concerns are, talk them over and offer suggestions of ways to make her feel more comfortable about allowing you to go.
If, after all is said and done, your mum still refuses then, ultimately, there’s not much you can do about it. You could talk about ways in which you could show your mum that you are sensible enough to do more mature activities and build up a level of trust. Proving that you’re mature and able to be responsible might make her more comfortable with saying ‘yes’ when the next gig rolls around.
