I Want To Dye My Hair But My Mum Won’t Let Me

Desperate to try dye but not allowed? Read on…

“I want to colour my hair, but my mum is totally against it. She says it’ll ruin my hair – and that I’m too young. All my friends have their hair dyed. It’s not fair. I just want to be like everyone else!”

Being a teenager is hard. You spend a lot of time and energy worrying about trying to fit in so when everyone else around you is doing something that you’re not, it can make you feel left behind.

There are lots of other reasons why you might want to change your hair: maybe you’re tired of your old look and want to make a change; perhaps you’re fed up with ‘boring old brown’ and want to express yourself with a bright colour; or maybe you want to try something that feels a little more grown-up. Whatever your reason, this can be your starting point for talking to your mum. 

Talking To Mum

Explain to your mum your reasons for wanting to dye your hair. Keep calm and try not to let your frustration boil over. Tell her exactly what style you’re hoping to achieve, and what products you or a hairdresser plan to use to do it. Your mum may be more open to allowing you to dye your hair if she knows you’ve thought this through carefully.

Ask your mum what her worries are about you colouring your hair. She may be concerned about you ruining your hair with harsh, permanent colours, or she might be worried about your school’s rules – some schools won’t allow bright colours, for instance.

Finding A Compromise

Now that you’ve both laid out your thoughts and feelings on the matter, see if you can come to a compromise. You could, for example, agree to:

  • Use semi-permanent colouring to get a temporary effect. This is a good way to see if you actually like the colour without fully committing to it.
  • Go to a professional hairdresser, rather than do it yourself at home. Your mum might feel more comfortable with this if she knows you’re in good hands.
  • Dye it during the school holidays, rather during term-time. Mum might be open to letting you try dye for the first time when it won’t affect school in any way.
  • Try clip-in coloured hair. This is a good way to change up your look whenever you feel like it and it won’t cause any damage to your hair.
  • Try a new haircut instead. If it’s a new look you’re after, why not try a different style?
  • Go for a more subtle colour. Mum might be completely against a shocking bright pink but agreeable to a more natural tone.

What If She Still Says “No”?

If your mum is reluctant to budge, you can always try again another time. It might be you have to wait another year or so before you’re allowed to colour your hair – this could be especially true if you’re a younger teen. In the meantime, you can always experiment with different hairstyles or fashion to find the style that feels right for your identity.


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