It’s perfectly normal to want to be on our own from time to time but what can you do when a teenager doesn’t seem to have any friends or is suffering lockdown loneliness?
Loneliness can strike any of us at any time, but teens are more likely to have friendship issues throughout puberty, resulting in feelings of isolation and depression. A report from Childline in 2019* revealed that 5,100 children had received counselling sessions about loneliness with concerns about friendships making up 5% of their total calls.
It’s a worrying issue that has only worsened in 2020 with restrictions and lockdowns putting massive strain on relationships, schooling and day-to-day lives.
Childline reported in April 2020† that young people were mostly talking about:
- Struggling with increased feelings of depression and anxiety.
- Having panic attacks more frequently.
- Having nightmares or finding it difficult to fall asleep.
- Feeling lonely or isolated.
Establish The Cause
Does the child spend a lot of time alone? Do they have little or no friends, or seem to struggle to maintain meaningful friendships for any length of time? Ask the teen to read our Why Do I Feel So Lonely? to determine the possible reasons for why they are feeling so isolated.
Initiate a conversation to try and find out why they are feeling this way. If they seem reluctant to talk, ask them to write down how they’re feeling and what they think the reasons are. You can suggest that you read it together afterwards, or alone if they prefer.
Talk to your them about each of the reasons they have written down and gently suggest various ways to tackle each point. Take a look at the issues below for possible next steps:
Forging Friendships
If the teen has fallen out with friends or struggles to make friends, you can find some simple steps here Why Do I Feel So Lonely? for ideas on how to make friends. Joining new groups or clubs is a great way to meet new people.
Feeling Different Or Depressed
Teenagers may be experiencing deep feelings of isolation due to their sexual orientation, gender identity, disabilities or race. It could also be due to a recent bereavement, a family separation, moving home or starting a new school. This may be something that they don’t feel comfortable or ready to discuss with you, so, if you suspect that this may be the case, encourage your child to talk to another trusted teacher at school or to ring Childline on 0800 1111 to talk about anything that may be worrying them in total confidence.
When To Get Help
If the root of the teen’s loneliness is something more serious, like bullying, you can reach out to get help. Work to tackle the bullying and put procedures in place to ensure the child receives extra support if required.
Some children may be feeling a deep sense of loneliness nearly all the time. They could have little or no self-confidence and feel as if no-one else in the world could possibly like them. If the teen is exhibiting signs of depression or you are seriously concerned about their mood, talk to their parents about contacting their GP. They can assess, diagnose and treat your child, most likely with talking therapy or antidepressants, or a mixture of both.
For more information on mental health: https://www.mind.org.uk
*https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/childline-annual-review†
https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/2195/what-children-are-saying-childline-about-coronavirus.pdf
