Has your friend got a bad case of the grumps? Here’s how to deal with it…
Trying to be supportive to a moody mate can be draining. You want to be a good friend, to make sure they know that you care. Not so easy when they’re snapping your head off or shutting down everything you say…
In fact, you’re probably pretty sick of being their emotional sponge and who wouldn’t be? It’s not easy to be supportive to someone who… well, certainly doesn’t seem to want your support…
Don’t Forget YOU
It’s important to remember that even though your friend is feeling down or struggling, that doesn’t make it OK to lash out, to say or do nasty things to you. It can be difficult to find a balance between being a good friend and protecting your own mental health but that’s why Hidden Strength is here to help.
Set Boundaries
If your friend has been taking their moods out on you, you need to make it clear that you won’t tolerate it any longer. You could say something like, “I know you’re going through a tough time right now and I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’ll support you and try to help you. But it’s unfair of you to take it out on me so I won’t stick around if you continue to be mean to me.”
Be Direct
Ask your friend what you can do to help. It might be that they need a friendly ear to listen to their worries – or there might be something specific you can do to help them feel better. Asking this question outright lets your friend know that they have your full support, and this can be a source of relief and gratitude.
Take Space
Give yourself a breather if you need to. It’s OK to give yourself a break from it all and you shouldn’t feel guilty. It’ll give you some much-needed time to relax and reboot, giving you more energy to help your mate.
Find The Bigger Picture
What is the root of your friend’s moody behaviour? You might have your own idea about what could be causing it, but it’s a good idea to talk it over. Ask your friend if there’s anything troubling them. You could say, “I’ve noticed you seem upset lately and I’m worried about you. Is there something bothering you?”
If you’re worried that something serious is going on, such as abuse or depression, talk to an adult you trust and share your fears. Always get help immediately if your friend talks about suicide or having suicidal thoughts. You can encourage your friend to talk to a parent or teacher or to speak to one of our 24/7 counsellors on the Hidden Strength app. Call 999 if you think their safety is in immediate danger. For more help and advice on depression click here.
