Being ghosted, ignored, or left out? It hurts...
If you’ve experienced losing a friend, you’ll know how upsetting it can be. Friendships can break up for all sorts of reasons, but it can be especially difficult and confusing if someone who you considered a close friend goes off with someone else, stops replying to your texts or quietly ‘ditches’ for you for no apparent reason.
Growing Apart…
We all change as we grow up and sometimes this can cause people to drift apart. This often happens when people make the shift from primary to secondary school – friends might want to go in different directions as they develop different interests or meet new people who they might feel they have more in common with. You might feel sad and find it difficult to accept that your friendship has come to a ‘natural end’. Talk to your other friends or family to get support and try to focus on the existing positive relationships you have in your life.
My Friend Ghosted Me
Being ghosted can be hurtful and confusing. Suddenly, your mate is ignoring your texts, walking past you in the school hallway and avoiding eye contact. You may have an idea why your friend has stopped talking to you or you might have absolutely no clue what’s going on. So what do you do?
Well, you can try asking your friend “what’s wrong?” straight out, face-to-face. Tell them how much the situation is worrying you and let them know that you want to get to the bottom of the issue. If it’s something you can work out together; great. If not, you might want to take some time to think things over.
If your friend refuses to communicate with you then sadly there’s not much you can do. It can be hard to accept the end of a friendship but, once you do, you can finally move on. Try these tips to help you get over a ghosting:
- Let yourself feel sad and have a cry if you need to. Tell yourself that this is going to hurt for a little while but that it will get better in time.
- Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a tough time and it’s OK to have bad days.
- Talk to a friend or family member to get support. It can help to talk over your frustrations about how your friendship ended in such an upsetting way – good, supportive people can validate your feelings and help you deal with your hurt.
- Don’t let this bad experience put you off making new friends. You have a lot to offer the world and it would be a shame if you didn’t share your amazing self with new people.
My Friend Ditched Me For New Friends…
Sometimes, a friend might ‘go off’ with another friend or group. They may stop talking to you altogether and cancel plans/ignore your texts/avoid you in person, leaving you feeling lonely and hurt. It’s not nice to deliberately isolate a person and it’s not acceptable for anyone to say or do something that makes you feel bad. It can help to talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling – a friend, family member, or a teacher at school.
How To Respond To Someone Who Ditched You
When a friend ditches you for another friendship group, sometimes this can lead to bullying. Sniggering when you walk past, sending nasty messages, ignoring you when you speak… these are all forms of bullying and that’s never OK. If you feel harassed, targeted, or intimidated by an ex-friend, please report it. To find more advice around toxic relationships, click here.
Watching someone you once trusted turn from friend to foe can feel like a betrayal of your trust. You might be worried about your ex-friend spilling your secrets or telling people your most private thoughts and feelings. If this does happen, this is also a form of bullying and it’s a good idea to tell someone about it to get advice and support.
Moving On…
Losing a friend can have a big impact on our lives. Friends share our happiest and saddest moments and help us to deal with problems and situations that arise in our day-to-day lives. That’s why not having a friend by your side can leave you feeling desperately alone. When you lose your ‘sidekick’, it can feel like your world has been turned upside-down.
It’s important to get support and help from others if you’re feeling very sad. Lean on friends and family to help you through. The Hidden Strength app can be a great supportive tool for you, too – use the Chat function to talk to our community or write down how you’re feeling in My Journal. Download the free app for IOS and Android to get help.
Dealing with the break-up of a friendship is hard but it can also be a good opportunity to make new friends or to build a stronger relationship with your other friends. Spend time with those closest to you or try a new hobby or group to make new mates. For more ideas and advice on making friends, click here.
