Fed up with being nagged? Here’s how to break the cycle…
Nagging parent getting you down? There’s got to be a better way, right? Well, thankfully there is! We’re here to help you make a breakthrough in communicating with your parent to make nagging a thing of the past.
Why Does My Mum Nag?
Let’s use this as a starting point. Have a think about why your mum might nag. Does she repeat information, asking you to do the same thing over and over again? Why might that be? Is it because she feels it’s important or beneficial to you? For example – does she often have to remind you to wash the dishes when it’s your turn? Perhaps her nagging comes from a place of frustration because she doesn’t think you can manage on your own or will take responsibility when you need to. She may simply need some help around the house. Whatever the reason for the nagging, it can become a negative cycle that’s difficult to break.
Why Nagging Doesn’t Work
Nagging doesn’t work for either of you. Period. In fact, being nagged will make you less likely to do whatever it is your mum wants. It can also make you feel incompetent, manipulated and even resentful. It’s a negative form of communication. By talking openly to your mum about how nagging makes you feel, hopefully you can work out a way to communicate more positively with each other.
Nagging doesn’t work for your mum either. She most probably feels more stressed and frustrated because of it. She may even hate the sound of herself nagging because she remembers being nagged by her own mother!
Talking To Your Mum
Speak to your mum about her nagging and explain how it makes you feel. Try to avoid calling her a nag or using the word ‘nagging’ – it can make people feel defensive and angry. Instead, try saying that you know you sometimes forget to do things but it might be more helpful for your mum to write down tasks and reminders, rather than verbally remind you every day. By doing this, you’re telling her (in a very calm and nice way) that nagging doesn’t work but also offering a workable solution. This shows maturity and responsibility.
Prove You Are Capable
For this to work, however, you need to stick to your side of the bargain and this means completing and checking off tasks from the list your mum makes in a timely manner. Agree timings with your mum when she makes the list to avoid any nagging or arguments down the line… you don’t want to end up in a shouting match because you’ve taken nearly a week to empty your bedroom bin. Set deadlines and stick to them.
Your mum will then realise that you can respond positively and proactively without any need for nagging. It might take a few attempts – and your mum might find it difficult to break the habit of nagging – but a gentle reminder that you have your list and you’ve got it under control will hopefully be enough to stop a nag in its tracks. You’ll both enjoy healthier, happier communication and a nag-free home!
If your relationship with your parents is a big problem you may be thinking about moving out, make sure you know the facts if you are under 18.