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I’ve Been Dumped…

Heartbreak is never easy. Here are 10 tips to help you through a break-up…

The ending of a relationship can leave you feeling broken-hearted, upset and deeply hurt. You may also feel angry or confused as to why you’re no longer in a relationship, especially if you thought everything was going well. It can be a turbulent and traumatic experience and it takes time to heal. Here are 10 steps to braving the storm of your break-up…

  1. Give yourself a break. Don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day or find it difficult to simply pick yourself up and move on. You need to allow yourself time to grieve. Accept that it will take time to mend, but that you will get there.
  • Accept what’s happened. Give yourself time to feel the emotions you have brewing inside of you and talk it through with a supportive friend or your family. Lean on the people who love you most and let them comfort you in your time of need.
  • Eat well. You might feel nauseous or have zero appetite, but it’s important to take care of your body while your mind and heart heals. Try eating little and often if you can’t face food and treat yourself to your favourite snacks for a mini mood-boost.
  • Talking is therapy. It can help to speak about your feelings with someone you trust. If you don’t feel like speaking, why not write it all down? It can help to pour out your feelings, whether it’s to a sympathetic friend or onto paper.
  • Beat the blues. Keep yourself busy by doing the things you love most: pick up a book, take a long bath, give yourself a makeover… whatever works for you. A blast of exercise or a dance in your bedroom blows off the cobwebs and releases feel-good endorphins.
  • Release your anger. It’s normal to have these feelings but it’s not healthy to keep them bottled up. Share them with a friend, scribble them down, even scream into a pillow, if you have to, but just get those frustrations out and let yourself cry. You’ll feel better afterwards.
  • Love yourself. Break-ups can have a negative impact on our self-esteem, leaving us feeling rejected and ‘not good enough’. Know that this is not true. Remind yourself that you are loved, focus on your positive qualities, and surround yourself with people who value and cherish you.
  • Look for the positives. Now that you think about it, was there anything about your relationship that you won’t miss? Maybe there are things you have free time for, now that you’re single? It can help to plan a fun activity with friends to give you a distraction and something positive to look forward to.
  • Think ahead. What do you want from a future relationship? Write down what you hope for in the future and fill your wish-list with positivity and love. This can be a good way to give yourself closure and look to a better, brighter future.
  1. Moving on. You’ll arrive at this destination eventually, honestly! Once you feel recovered from your break-up, you’ll be keen to leave it in the past and move on with your life. It might be with someone new or you may be completely happy to be single. No matter what you choose, it’s your time to shine!

For more help:

Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/friends-relationships-sex/sex-relationships/relationships/

Curated by

Vicky Bird
Vicky is a Bacp accredited counsellor and supervisor in private practice in Hampshire. You can contact Vicky via Psychologytoday