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My Mum Won’t Let Me Wear What I Want

Fed up of fashion fall-outs? We’re here to help.

It’s not uncommon to fall out with family members over your choice of clothing, make up or accessories. It can be incredibly frustrating when you’re at loggerheads with your parent when all you want is the freedom to express yourself; to present yourself to the world your way. Whether you want to fit in, make a statement, or be admired, we’re here to help you and your parent come to a compromise.

  1. Talk to your parent about the types of clothing or styles you want to wear and be honest about why this is important to you. It might be because you want to express yourself or because you want to fit in with your friends. Your parent might not ever fully agree with your fashion choices but at least they now know why it matters to you and they’ll be more likely to come to a compromise.
  1. Get your parent involved in your style. Show them the kinds of clothes you’d like to wear online or point our outfits in shop windows. Ask for their opinions and talk about the kind of clothes they like to wear. Opening up an easy dialogue like this can help you both move forward with the discussions around your style choices.
  1. Your parent might not like some of your fashion choices because they consider them ‘inappropriate’. A lot of arguments start when you try to go out dressed in something that your parent considers to be too tight, short or revealing. It can make you feel annoyed, angry and hurt when your parent criticises your outfit but try to stay calm in the moment. Try to consider your outfit from your parent’s perspective and suggest potential compromises, such as throwing on another layer of clothing.
  1. If your parent still buys your clothes, it can be difficult to persuade them to buy the styles you like. Talk to them about how your fashion style is evolving and show them the types of clothing you’d like to wear. Give them plenty of choice, rather than demanding a particular item or flat-out refusing to wear anything else. This only leads to a stubborn stalemate where nobody wins. Show your parent a selection of clothes you’d happily wear to give them plenty of choice and a degree of control.
  1. Be realistic. Your parent is never going to like everything you wear. We all have our own unique styles and tastes, and life would be boring if we all liked the same things. If you know yourself that your outfit is a bit “too” something (flamboyant/revealing/bright/skimpy/outrageous), then the chances are that your parent will too. It makes good sense to consider what your parent’s reaction to your outfit will be before you show them. That way, you’re less likely to be offended or angry if you’re met with a negative response. This also gives you time to consider your reasons for wanting to wear these particular clothes, as well as possible compromises you could make.

Looking for more advice on family and relationships? Click here.

Curated by

Sian Dolan
Sian Dolan is a content writer for Hidden Strength with a background in children’s and teenage magazines. She feels it’s more important than ever to write supportive, engaging features for young adults who need a guiding light and a helping hand with their mental health and wellbeing.