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Abusive Parents – How To Get Help

Find out how to get the support you need. 

Growing up in an abusive household can be a living nightmare. Whether it’s physical, sexual or emotional abuse, know that it’s never OK and it’s never your fault. You deserve to be loved, safe and happy. We’re here to help you get the support you need to put an end to the abuse, once and for all.  

Get Help 

The first step to getting help is to talk to an adult about the abuse and violence you’re experiencing. While this may seem scary or a betrayal of trust, it’s the only way you can make others aware of the problem. Remember, you are NOT to blame for anything that’s happening to you. Abuse is always the fault of the person who is doing it.  

Reach out to an adult you trust – a teacher, family member or doctor. We know that asking for help isn’t always easy. It’s a difficult first step, but it’s a positive move in the right direction. That’s why we’ve written this helpful guide – How To Ask For Help – and you can read it here.   

Domestic Violence & Abuse 

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone. The NHS describes it as: 

“Domestic violence, also called domestic abuse, includes physical, emotional and sexual abuse in couple relationships or between family members.” 

If you are a victim of domestic abuse, it’s important to tell someone. You may feel trapped, scared, ashamed and helpless, but please know that there are many, many charities and groups ready to offer you shelter and support: 

  • Refuge is a charity for women and children who are experiencing domestic violence. You can call their 24-hour, National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free on 0808 2000 247 or visit https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ for more information.  
  • If you are an LGBTQ+ person experiencing abuse and violence, you can reach out to Galop on 0800 999 5428 or click here for more information.
  • Male victims of domestic abuse can call ManKind on 01823 334244 (weekdays 10-4pm) or click here to get further information.

Men’s Advice Line is also available on 0808 8010 327 (Mon-Fri 9am-8pm) – get more information here.

  • Childline: Phone 0800 11 11 to talk to a trained counsellor in confidence or get more support here.
  • Karma Nirvana help people who are victims of forced marriages and honour crimes and abuse. You can reach them on 0800 5999 247 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) or click here to get more support.

Alcohol/Drug Misuse 

If alcohol and/or drugs is a problem in your family, and it’s affecting you there are various helplines and support groups you can reach out to. It can be difficult to know of someone has an alcohol or drug problem, especially because they often go to great lengths to hide their addiction. You can read more about spotting the signs of alcohol addiction here: https://ionpadel.com/for-me/drugs-and-medication/am-i-drinking-too-much/  

Get more help and advice here: 

  • NHS: Get more information and find local alcohol support on the NHS website here
  • Alateen meetings are for 12-17-year-olds in England. They meet to share their experiences of having, or having had, a problem drinker in their lives. They help and support each other. To find out more information, you can email enquiries@aol-anonuk.org.uk  
  • Childline: Phone 0800 11 11 to talk to a trained counsellor in confidence or email help@nspcc.org.uk  

We hope these helplines and support groups help you get the support you need. If you need immediate help or feel like your safety or life is in danger, please call 999 straight away.   

Curated by

Sian Dolan
Sian Dolan is a content writer for Hidden Strength with a background in children’s and teenage magazines. She feels it’s more important than ever to write supportive, engaging features for young adults who need a guiding light and a helping hand with their mental health and wellbeing.

Author by

Vicky Bird
Vicky is a Bacp accredited counsellor and supervisor in private practice in Hampshire. You can contact Vicky via Psychologytoday